"Scattered wits take a long time picking up; and often, before I had got them well together, they would be dispersed in all directions by one stray thought."
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Another Anniversary
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
"Hast thou not seen
how thy desires e're have been
granted in what He ordaineth"
What a lot has happened in the last year!
I don't feel like I have a lot to say about the year- I've written a lot on this blog about the happenings and changes and discoveries. This day is a good day to remember all the blessings I have at Wheaton. I'm so glad for the friends I'm making and the things I'm learning. There are so many wonderful things.
It's been a good year.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Advent
Lift up your heads, ye mighty gates!
Behold, the King of Glory waits;
The King of kings is drawing near,
The Savior of the world is here.
A helper just he comes to thee,
His chariot is humility,
His kingly crown is holiness,
His scepter, pity in distress.
O blest the land, the city blest,
Where Christ the Ruler is confessed!
O happy hearts and happy homes
To whom this King in triumph comes!
Fling wide the portals of your heart;
Make it a temple, set apart
From earthly use for heavens employ,
Adorned with prayer and love and joy.
Redeemer, come! I open wide
my heart to thee; here, Lord, abide!
Let me thy inner presence feel;
Thy grace and love in me reveal.
So come, my Sovereign, enter in!
Let new and nobler life begin!
Thy Holy Spirit, guide us on,
Until the gloreious crown be won.
Merry Christmas, my friends!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
On Holiday
Furthermore, I shall be all the more grateful for Wheaton's "resnet" after suffering the maddening slowness of firefox with the internet connection at home. This should speak volumes to any Wheaton students. (Hey, I just learned something cool: "Internet" is supposed to be capitalized. I wonder how much longer that rule will last. I don't feel compelled to follow it.)
I've been reading voraciously since I got home from Wheaton. I didn't realize how starved for pleasure reading I had become. I just don't seem to have the time during the semester. There's always some task more pressing. Hence my "recently read" has turned to "not so recently read, mostly". I wonder if next semester I can make an effort to always be reading a book for fun, not matter how slowly I get through it. It would take a lot of self control. I get easily engrossed.
I can't say that I've been reading particularly high literature, though I do plan on reading the Fellowship of the Ring sometime during break, eventually. First I feel like taking the edge off my appetite with lighter fare. I'm reading hors d'oeuvres, if you will. Anyway, what I have read has given me an abundance of new vocab words, most thanks to Alexander McCall Smith, a few to Dorothy Sayers. (Lord Peter Whimsy is a new favorite of mine.) Check out the sidebar.
Would that my Scattered Wits may at times be lambent!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Thou Who Wast Rich Beyond All Splendor
Thou who wast rich beyond all splendor,
All for love's sake becamest poor;
Thrones for a manger didst surrender,
Sapphire-paved courts for stable floor.
Thou who wast rich beyond all splendor,
All for love's sake becamest poor.
Thou who art God beyond all praising,
All for love's sake becamest man;
Stooping so low, but sinners raising,
Heav'nward by thine eternal plan.
Thou who art God beyond all praising,
All for love's sake becamest man.
Thou who art love beyond all telling,
Savior and King, we worship thee.
Emmanuel, within us dwelling,
Make us what thou wouldst have us be.
Thou who art love beyond all telling,
Savior and King, we worship thee.
- Frank Houghton, 1894-1972
Saturday, December 15, 2007
A Short Rant
Cold showers in the summer in Mexico are fine. Cold showers in Wheaton, Illinois "in the bleak midwinter when frosty wind makes moan" are less pleasurable.
Friday, December 14, 2007
It's been an interesting week.
In a month from today I'll be starting new classes. I'm registered for Composition and Research (the writing gen ed), Classical and Early Brit Lit (with three friends!), Intro to Evangelism (because Dr. Root is teaching it and I heard he's amazing), piano lessons, and Wellness 101 (I was wait-listed so I e-mailed the professor asking to be added. He said if I was Liz Harber's roommate I was very welcome!) I'll also have Music Theory II with Dr. Wheatley again. I like theory - a better understanding of music means a greater appreciation of great composers' brilliance. I didn't realize how many rules guide composers. If forced, I can write and harmonize a melody. Just follow the rules. It takes a musical genius to create music that will be played and enjoyed for centuries.
Last Sunday I lunched at the Ryken's house with Arwen, Erin, and Robin. We volunteered to help him out with something, and he and his wife thanked us by inviting us over for a meal. It was delightful. If, when I'm old and settled, I live close to a university I hope I'll be generous and hospitable with college students. It means so much.
As to why this week has been interesting . . . This week I lost my naive optimism about Wheaton and Wheaton students. It was a nasty jolt. I came in knowing Wheaton wouldn't be perfect, but I guess a lot of good conversations and experiences lulled me into glossing over its faults. It's good that I've "come to", so to speak.
Chapel at Wheaton has been consistently disappointing. It started off very good at the beginning of the year with a week with John Piper, but things went down hill from there. Some of my friends are similarly discontent and a few of us were, or rather are, planning on visiting Chappy K, hoping to convince him that reform is needed. We're tired of "chapeltisements", tired of poor worship music, tired of moral but gospel-lacking messages. Several weeks ago we had a psych prof who managed to speak without mentioning God until the closing prayer. But this past Monday was the final straw. Rev. Alise Barrymore came and spoke about what she has learned about the advent from watching Smallville. It's so shameful I'm embarrassed to write it. If you have a morbid curiosity, you can listen here.
Previous chapels saddened and disappointed me, but this angered me. Honestly I don't remember ever being so angry before - angry that my God was so disrespected, angry that chapel wasn't what was promised, angry that I had to be so disillusioned. It was frightening. What also upsets and saddens me greatly is that while others agreed with me that it was a travesty of chapel, few were willing to take action - to write to Chappy K, to express disappointment, to ask for reform. Anything. The general response is that some chapels are worse than others. That's the way it is here. I don't understand that complacency. How can that be okay?
On Wednesday I had lunch with Jay Thomas, the college group pastor at College Group. I was glad for the opportunity to talk about this disillusionment and seek his advice. I guess the danger for Wheaton students as they lose their optimism is to fall into cynicism. I want to walk the middle line of "idealistic realism". Jay said it wouldn't be wrong to think of Wheaton as a kind of mission field. A Christian witness is so important here.
I began a letter to Chappy K on Tuesday. But this week has been busy and I have not yet completed it. What further frightens me is that as my anger abates, my drive to get the letter written weakens. May I not become complacent too.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Let it Snow!!!
Erin, Arwen, Swims, and I walked through the snow to Lawson field where we danced and goofed around. Swims had to return to work, but the rest of us walked further through the neighborhood, singing Christmas carols together. There's something magical about a snowfall at night. Then we headed to the stupe for ice cream and coffee. And later that night we got raided. It was a good day.
Below is the view from my dorm window. I live on the "U" but at the end of the hallway so I can see a little more than just ugly Fischer. Snow makes everything prettier. I even love the contrast between the bare tree branches and the white sky.
Officially
So. . .
On Wednesday I declared an English major.
On Thursday I submitted the form requesting to transfer into Wheaton's College of the Arts and Sciences and declared a music minor. (perhaps I should have done this before declaring the English major. Hopefully the registrar can handle this . . . )
And today someone walking out of Fischer said to me, "Hey, you're a conservie, aren't you."
NO!!!!
Monday, December 3, 2007
A special day
Every year, despite my better intentions, I get so excited about my birthday that I tell people weeks, or even months, in advance. So funny, that I should read this post by my more mature friend in Mexico on December first. But I think we love birthdays for the same reason.
My friends helped make my birthday a special day for me. Jeremy hooked up an answering machine to take all the calls I missed. Liz and Katelynn surprised me with a room decorated with balloons and streamers, breakfast in bed, a giant card signed by lots of friends, and the extension set to Settlers of Catan. I spent the morning practicing at the conservatory and then was thrilled to open the door and see snow coming down! Liz and I braved the elements and spent several hours in downtown Wheaton. Supper was off campus with friends and the evening finished with a game of Settlers in the lobby. In short, it was a wonderful day. And I didn't have to eat at Saga all weekend!
Two more weeks of classes, a few days of exams and I'm done with the semester! I'll be ready. Especially for aural skills to be finished. . .
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Ukrainian Eggs
had lots of colorful dyes and a book with different designs that we could choose from.
We started by finding the poles of the egg and drawing a line through them to divide the egg in half. We drew designs in pencil and covered those lines that we wanted to stay white with wax. This is painstaking work.
Mary put our eggs in the oven until the wax was liquid and we wiped it off with paper towels. The egg in the picture below is my masterpiece.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Catching up
One of the highlights of the trip home for me was seeing Mr. Berdos, my old piano teacher. He listened to me play and we talked and then he took me and Tim out for coffee and we talked some more. It's comforting for me to know that God is sovereign and there's a reason I have my current piano teacher, though he drives me nuts. But that doesn't make me miss Mr. Berdos any less. I wish I could be in NJ on Sunday to hear him conduct Handel's Messiah at Hilltop again.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
An Excursion
It was a gorgeous afternoon. I'm so glad that autumn hung around so long for me to see some beautiful colors. The prettiest foliage was mostly gone by Sunday, but I saw some stunning reds and golds. There were some beautiful trees here in Wheaton, but I didn't realize until I came back to New Jersey how much I missed the sight of a whole hillside aflame with color. Illinois is flat. There is no hillside, just flatness.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A Screw
Count the allusions in that last paragraph and report back.
I'm in an odd mood.
Anyway, I am the screw in the Wheaton College system. When I registered for classes I noticed at the bottom of the page that it said "Carol Miner, Wheaton Conservatory of Music, Undeclared: Music Education". Therein lies a problem. Though I applied belated to the Conservatory I was never accepted. Last spring I declared my self undeclared: music BA (do you wonder why I'm confused?!!) During the summer I sent in my audition; during orientation Dr. Horn said he had seen my audition and had chosen to evaluate me after a semester before deciding if I could be admitted to the conservatory; a day or two later I realized I would never want to be in the conservatory and told my adviser and piano teacher so.
Anyway, I went to the conservatory office after my lesson today to ask about this because it affects recital concert attendance requirements, and potentially jury requirements too, I imagine. Thirty minutes later I left the office. The conservatory has never had to deal with such a nutty case. I confuse myself.
I had a teacher in high school who said university officials were the most infuriating bureaucrats. I can imagine that this could be the case. But thank God for Susan Brinkman, a conservatory secretary, who is a beacon of all things good. "You can practically hear the milk of human kindness sloshing around in her."
I'm thankful to have had this time in the conservatory, as a BME or BA or minor or whatever I am or have been or will be. Most Wheaton students don't get to know conservies. I don't want to be one myself, but I'm glad to know many of them. They are (for the most part) talented, interesting, kind, odd people. (conservatory humor amuses me. Do you know anyone who jokes about parallel octaves or the "new melodic concept"?)
I should get cracking on my dictation assignment. But I'm not a conservie. At least, I never thought I was. . .
Monday, November 26, 2007
Fun Things
I brought home Settlers of Catan, the game which was so popular at our family reunion in July. We played for hours. It's a wonderful game, so long as you don't lose too badly too many times in a row. . .
Back at Wheaton
The Good: Seeing friends again and working hard to finish off the first semester
The Bad: Getting up for an eight o'clock class on Monday morning
The Ugly: The large, partially-lit star behind Blanchard. That beautiful hall demands classier
decorations.
The Pretty: The Christmas lights on the trees and wreaths on the buildings.
The Funny: Noticing all the guys whose moms made them get their hair cut over break
When there's not much to say, but writing is fun. . .
I'm writing this while flying back to Wheaton after Thanksgiving break. I've been reminded this Thanksgiving break of why I don't love airline travel. I really shouldn't complain. The days I flew are some of the heaviest travel days of the year yet I didn't have to wait in any long lines. But I did spend many hours waiting at the gate while everything in me was itching to be on my way. Both my flights left late. But in this case the ends justify the means. Traveling is worth the cost of growing old in the airport. I'm so glad I got to come home for Thanksgiving.
The only work that I brought home to do was to read The Next Christendom by Philip Jenkins for my Gospel, Church, and Culture class. It is mildly interesting at points, but far from scintillating. I managed to get through the last chapter by rewarding myself with a carrot stick after each page turn, like the way I remember eating crackers to pass the miles on long car trips. Now I'm snacking on M&Ms at my pleasure as I type. I like this better.
Thanksgiving break was wonderful and I feel ready to tackle the three and a half weeks left of classes and exams before Christmas break. I'm looking forward to posting some of the pictures I took.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
A few good quotes, I think
I pointed to where our village lay . . . a mile or more from the church. The man, after looking at me for a moment, turned me upside-down. . . When the church came to itself - for he was so sudden and strong that he made it go head over heels before me, and I saw the steeple under my feet - when the church came to itself, I saw, I was seated on a high tombstone.
My sister, Mrs. Joe, . . . concluded by throwing me - I often served her as a connubial missile - at Joe.
All of in a moment some confounding remembrance of the Havisham days would fall upon me, like a destructive missile, and scatter my wits again. Scattered wits take a long time picking up; and often, before I had got them well together, they would be dispersed in all directions by one stray thought.
He had glittering eyes - small, keen, and black - and thin wide mottled lips. He had had them, to the best of my belief, from forty to fifty years.
Let me introduce the topic, Handel, by mentioning that in London it is not the custom to put the knife in the mouth - for fear of accidents - and that while the fork is reserved for that use, it is not put further in than is necessary. It is scarcely worth mentioning, only it's as well to do as other people do.
Unless I deceive myself on a point where my interests or prepossessions are certainly not concerned, I saw that Mr. and Mrs. Pocket's children were not growing up or being brought up, but were tumbling up.
I also loved the parts that talked about Mr. Wemmick's father, referred to as the Aged Parent, or simply the Aged. It made me think affectionately of my own "APs".
Honest Thoughts
I'm so ready to come home, see family and friends, eat good food, and have a short break from studies. I want to come back to Wheaton rejuvenated and renewed in my enthusiasm for learning.
Sometimes I become very frustrated with myself. I want to make the most of my time here. The past few months have flown and I'm already about twelve percent done with my undergrad years! With the notable exception of aural skills, I am doing pretty well academically. But sometimes I wonder if I'm working as hard as I should be, if I'm redeeming the time. Am I doing the minimum it takes to get a good grade when if I worked harder, I'd learn more? It's the knowledge, not the number that's most important.
There are days when I feel like the only productive thing I've done is laundry.
I don't entirely understand the Wheaton community. On the one hand, most students are highly motivated and success-driven. On the other hand, it seems like students are so affirming of each other that it would be easy to slip into complacency. I feel like the encouragement and affirmation from friends has given me greater confidence, which isn't such a bad thing. But at the same time I hope it hasn't had negative side effects as well. I don't really know.
Friday, November 16, 2007
More family
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Redeemed
Let me add that it was mildly confusing to hear my name cheered by the opposing fans. And to hear some comments from the Wheaton fans about Carroll. . .
On Saturday the ladies are playing St. Scholastica. (No confusion there.) They (I mean the Wheaton Thunder) have a winning streak of 40 games.
Unfortunately Wednesday nights tend to be stressful because dictation assignments are due Thursday. It was a late night and I'm exhausted and headachy. I have decided to be a music minor instead of a BA music major. This relieves so much pressure. It's such a relief, I think it must be a good decision. Aural skills isn't the only reason for this decision, but it thrills me to no end to think that I have only two more dictation assignments and then I will be done with aural skills forever! Assuming I pass. . .
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more
Thinking about those days reminded me that I had some pictures of Yosemite from our senior trip that I hadn't posted yet. You can view them here, with the rest of my senior trip posts published in July.
And I'll share with you another Tennyson poem that I love:
Ulysses
It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel; I will drink
Life to the lees. All times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea. I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known,-- cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honor'd of them all,--
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'
Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!
As tho' to breathe were life! Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains; but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.
This is my son, mine own Telemachus,
to whom I leave the sceptre and the isle,--
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfill
This labor, by slow prudence to make mild
A rugged people, and thro' soft degrees
Subdue them to the useful and the good.
Most blameless is he, centred in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In offices of tenderness, and pay
Meet adoration to my household gods,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.
There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail;
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me,--
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads,-- you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honor and his toil.
Death closes all; but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks;
The long day wanes; the slow moon climbs; the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends.
'T is not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down;
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,--
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Can you guess my favorite lines?