Honest Thoughts

Only a four page poetry explication stands between me and Thanksgiving break.

I'm so ready to come home, see family and friends, eat good food, and have a short break from studies. I want to come back to Wheaton rejuvenated and renewed in my enthusiasm for learning.

Sometimes I become very frustrated with myself. I want to make the most of my time here. The past few months have flown and I'm already about twelve percent done with my undergrad years! With the notable exception of aural skills, I am doing pretty well academically. But sometimes I wonder if I'm working as hard as I should be, if I'm redeeming the time. Am I doing the minimum it takes to get a good grade when if I worked harder, I'd learn more? It's the knowledge, not the number that's most important.

There are days when I feel like the only productive thing I've done is laundry.

I don't entirely understand the Wheaton community. On the one hand, most students are highly motivated and success-driven. On the other hand, it seems like students are so affirming of each other that it would be easy to slip into complacency. I feel like the encouragement and affirmation from friends has given me greater confidence, which isn't such a bad thing. But at the same time I hope it hasn't had negative side effects as well. I don't really know.