Today

Four hundred and ninety years ago on this date Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg.

Yearning

I think today is the first day I've felt at all homesick, though not in a painful way. I have some free time today, and was thinking about how I wanted to use it. If I could, I would walk with Ivy into Montclair, visiting with my little friend William on Valley Way, enjoy the autumn splendor of South Mountain Avenue, and stroll past the Cheaper by the Dozen house on my way home. Maybe I'd walk down to Franklin and see Colleen and her mom and Mrs. Cutler too. Then I'd come home to have tea with parents. I'd put on a favorite CD, probably piano music, and curl up on the couch with a James Herriot and Ivy at my feet. That's what I would like the most right now.

So I'm very happy that Thanksgiving is coming so soon. I'm sure the weeks will fly by. I'm excited to see everyone again!

Fall Break Retreat

During fall break last weekend I went with the college group from College Church to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. I am so glad to be part of that group - the strong, biblical teaching and fellowship with believers has been so good.

We all headed to Lake Geneva on Saturday morning and returned to campus Tuesday afternoon. It was a really relaxing time. Our speaker was Russ Davis, a friend of a College Church intern. He spoke about our vertical relationship with our Lord and Savior and how that relationship will work out in our relationships with other people and the community. Besides the morning and evening sessions, our time was free to hang out together, walk into town, canoe on the lake, and get caught up on sleep. And I have a beautiful green and purple bruise on my leg to show for my first time paint balling. It was well worth it.

This following song we sang was new to me. I quite like it, so I'll share it with you:

Begone Unbelief
1. Begone unbelief, My Savior is near,
And for my relief will surely appear;
By faith let me wrestle, with God in the storm
And help me my Savior, the faith to adorn
And help me my Savior, the faith to adorn

2. Though dark be my way, since he is my guide,
'Tis mine to obey, and His to provide;
Though cisterns be broken, And creatures all fail,
The word he has spoken will surely prevail.
The word he has spoken will surely prevail.

Chorus
Begone unbelief, the Savior is here
Though cisterns be broken and creatures all fail
The word he has spoken will surely prevail
The word he has spoken will surely prevail.

3. Why should I complain, of want or distress
Temptation or pain? He told me no less
The heirs of salvation, I know from His word
Through much tribulation must follow their Lord
Through much tribulation must follow their Lord

4. Since all that I meet will work for my good,
The bitter is sweet, the medicine food;
Though painful at present, will cease before long,
And then, O! how glorious, the conqueror's song!
And then, O! how glorious, the conqueror's song!

I don't love everything about the song. I don't think I know exactly what he means by "the faith to adorn" and I was disappointed by the confusing placement of the clause "since He is my guide". But it still speaks truth.

To Appease my Sister

I do have a camera, but I neglect taking pictures. Here are a few from a couple events.

Here is me and my delightful roommate, Liz!

Wheaton had a swing dance! Here are some two west girls, decked out for the dance. Laura, Ruth Ann (a connector - Wheaton student next year, we hope!), me, Liz, Ashlie, Alison, Yesenia, and Katelynn. Yesenia and Katelynn are my suitemates.

I brought a connector, Ruth Ann. She's on the left and on the right is Elissa, a girl on my floor.

I ushered for the Ladysmith Black Mambazo artist series concert. Behind me in the middle is my friend Natasha. I don't know the other girls.

I stole this picture from a friend's facebook. I went to Lake Geneva during fall break (and didn't take pictures). These friends went into Chicago. I wasn't there, but they're cool so I'm posting the picture anyway: TJ, Jeremy, Erin, Peske.

Dejected

Sadness fills my heart. I just watched the Wheaton men's soccer team lose to Carthage at their last home game. The score was zero to one. Despite our cheers and rallying calls the men were defeated. It was parents' day too - the seniors and their parents were honored at half time, only to lose their last game. There's a senior soccer player in my English class. I feel for him.

I'm taking this pretty hard.

But earlier in the afternoon the ladies won their thirty-sixth straight game.

Other things

I'm sitting in the Fischer lobby and it's pretty much dead quiet because a lot of people have left for fall break. It's odd - I thought I'd be desperate for time by myself here, but now I want to be with people. What's happening to me?!

I'm glad for fall break - the first quad has been very hard. Wonderful, but hard. I'm hoping that next quad will be easier - or at least that I'll be better at juggling responsibilities. I'm dropping three credits - public speaking, a gen. ed. requirement, and piano sightreading. Public speaking was Monday night from 6:30-9:45. Nightclasses are the crabgrass in the lawn of education. May I never need to take another one. Sightreading was Tuesday night for an hour. It was held in room 101 which is unspeakable ominous. But it wasn't so bad - it would be more fitting if my aural skills class were in room 101.

Some things are different from what I had expected. I came thinking I wanted to study music, but now I'm so unsure. Music theory is interesting, but aural skills gives me grief, and even my piano lessons are troubling. Adjusting to a new piano teacher has been so difficult. I really have struggled to practice; the past week has been better, but at times I've still felt like the joy that I found in piano has been taken from me. I want to claim it back.

Right now I feel like I could be a very happy English major with a music minor. Maybe God is showing me through my struggles that music isn't what I should be studying. I often feel a bit out of place in the conserv. But then a teacher told me this week that everyone wants to quit after the first semester. To quit. Ouch. I don't know. Some days I'm very troubled.

I think I might like to be an English major. I can't imagine a semester of classes without an English class. I like my British Literature class with Dr. Ryken, even though I'm not doing amazingly well.

Dr. Ryken is a good teacher and a wise man. He has spent a fair bit of time warning against the detrimental effects of obsession with grade consciousness and I really have appreciated that. The truth is, he says, that most people are average or worse in most areas, but we should all appreciate the greatness we see in others. I'm very average here, but I'm generally happy with my studies and I love admiring and learning from the greatness of some of my nerdy friends and teachers.

Dr. Ryken is also a very funny man. I'll "regale you" with some of his most common expressions. I write them down in the top margin of my notes.

"I know you'll handle it with your characteristic maturity."
"I knew you'd be reasonable and see it my way."
"We need to go bing, bing, bing." (when he's looking for answers to his questions)
"I hear pleasant murmuring sounds." (when answers are quiet and not confident)
"Take it under advisement"
"Hmmmm." (he's quoting his grand daughter)
"Did you hear that, class?" (in a deep, growling voice)
"Tuck it away."
"Consider it done."
"This is Wheaton, where students write their own ticket."
"This is Wheaton, where every answer is right."
"Try it on your roommate."
"Am I not more to you than ten late arrivals?" (when everyone stares at the tardy student)

And that's only a taste.

Life is Good.

I think my Muse calls me to blog most strongly when I have other things I ought to do instead. That being true, I guess I should call her a siren. I should be practicing the piano right now, but I have finally given in. Fall break has come and any motivation to be productive has left.

Where do I begin?

The weather. It's kind of silly but it's one of the many little things that makes me happy. (and I probably won't be saying this three months from now!) I love autumn. I love the crisp wind, the smell and crunch of dead leaves under my feet, the blazing color of the trees. Autumn is gradually coming to Wheaton and it is making me feel so alive and alert.

I have a couple dogs to walk! Picking up the leash and heading out to walk Digby, a large black and white mutt, raises my spirits immediately. Animals have such powers over my emotions. I love walking through the neighborhood and meeting people the way I used to back home. Yesterday I met a nice couple with a beautiful German Shepherd. On my way back to return the dog I walk through campus and all the fellow deprived dog-lovers flock to me and Digs. The familiar campus sidewalks feel different under my feet when Digby is walking by my side. It's a funny thing.

My dorm room makes me happy. Liz and I hung up Christmas lights last Sunday. They make the room so much homier. But in spite of that I'm in danger of turning into a night-time Fischer lobby rat! Or maybe I am one. And glad to be one. Before I came to Wheaton I thought making friends would be hard for me. I never imagined that tearing myself away from my friends to study, or practice, or sleep would be so much harder! I love you, fellow lobby rats!

There are so many wonderful things happening, besides classes. I've been to some great soccer games; maybe I'll see a football game too. Last week I went to a lecture on anarchism which was really interesting. I'm ushering for Wheaton's artist series. It's lots of fun - I dress in black and white and ask people if they need help finding their seat in the balcony. Every once in a while there's an old lady that pats my arm and says, "Thank you dear, but we've had the same seats for twenty-two years." So I smile and say, "Enjoy the performance." Then I enjoy the performance for free. So far I've seen the Ladysmith Black Mambazo from South Africa and a Russian dance troupe from the Caucasus. On Wednesday I went to an open recital where conservatory students perform. It was amazing.

Last Saturday was a roulette - sort of a group blind date. Roommates choose a date for their roommates, but neither the guy nor the girl know who they'll be going out with. We all walked to the park and carved pumpkins together. It was fun. On Sundays and Wednesdays I meet with a bunch of girls on my floor for DSG (discipleship small group); on Thursdays evenings I go to a small group from College Church; on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays I work out in Wheaton's sports and recreation center. (at least that's the plan. I'm still a little sore from the first time I did it on Tuesday! but it is a good kind of sore.) On Wednesdays there's bro-sis dinner together and every other week there's bro-sis worship and fellowship together. Two east is an awesome brother floor.

I go to classes and study too. I'd write about that, but I'm antsy to go for a walk.

I have to add: a couple days ago someone asked me how I know what time it is since I don't carry a cell phone. I was very amused.

Oh, and today in CPO I got a envelope with a chocolate in it from an anonymous friend. So thrilling!

Growth

I'm so proud of my bean plant. It's growing so well. Notice the blossoms. I transplanted it again this afternoon; now it's in an old yogurt container.

I can't figure out why vertical pictures turn up sideways - any bloggers have suggestions?