It's chilly and gray and drizzling outside, which fits my mood after failing another aural skills quiz. My required aural skills class (sight-singing and music dictation) is pretty much the bane of my existence, but in a funny way I'm very glad to be taking it. Earlier this year John Piper came to Wheaton and talked about the Christian's call to suffer and to rejoice during suffering. (Listen to his talks here.) I grant that it may be stretching his point to call this class Christian suffering, but really have found occasion to rejoice in my struggles.
A couple weeks ago, Dr. Funk, interim dean of the conservatory, spoke to freshmen and transfers at a conservie meeting. He talked about the challenge of balancing all our responsibilities and dealing with the self-doubt and confusion that plagues freshmen. I can't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember being profoundly grateful and encouraged, and I told him so. The next morning he came and sat next to me and asked me how I was balancing things. I admitted to being very overwhelmed, and he responded by saying that it may not be a helpful thing to say, but I really shouldn't feel overwhelmed. He ran off to a meeting and left me there to think about that.
I'm constantly needing to be reminded, but when I remember that God is in control of every aspect of my life, I cease to be so overwhelmed. For some reason, the less I feel in control, the more I must realize that God is. I've found the words of the hymn "Be Still, My Soul" very comforting: Be still, my soul: your God will undertake to guide the future as he has the past. Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake; all now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below. "
I'm very happy to be here at Wheaton - I feel strongly that this is the right place for me. I'm just not quite sure exactly what I should be studying here. But, all mysterious shall be bright at last.
Another marvelous thing about aural skills class is the friendships that form because of the bond of common suffering. This is so true, and so wonderful.
The sun has come out.
1 comment:
I think you're going to do well at college (and life) because you're good and initiating, letting yourself be known. And so you make acquaintances, which will become friendships. (I wasn't nearly as good as that as you sound to be.)
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